AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN

Day Three. Wow! I’m not sure if I'll be consistent in writing all I want is to loosen up and unload my thoughts. I just hope this won’t cause me any trouble hmp! I’m not doing well today, been stressed and burned out plus my back is hurting again plus my ear is seem to outbreak again which means I’m going to take antibiotics AGAIN. This infection has been happening for quite some time now. It all started when I was six or seven. I underwent four or five minor operations already. The first operation was a bit bloody, the memory was still fresh. My Mom and Dad and their friend brought me to a specialist to have my ear checked then I got scheduled for "my first" operation on that same day. So there was one lady in white, the doctor and my mom. I was lying on the small bed facing the wall which happened to be a two way mirror so I could see everything on the street. As soon as the needle touched my skin, I gasped and started crying calling my mom so loud. They had to hold my both arm and feet because the doctor couldn’t do what he's supposed to do. It was terrible! After that I swore to myself that I will not go back to the hospital again. Oh well, it didn’t happen. This thing come and goes.  I had to return to specialist every two years because the wound doesn’t seem to heal totally. It occurs every two years until it became a year then three months. And today, it’s happening again. I got tired of seeing the specialist and telling the story over and over again because they can’t tell if it will still be fixed. I’m paying them but I’m not getting well! I hope this ain’t so serious but I’m sure that it is! I’m self-medicating since last year, but the problem is it is affecting my job and my esteem too. It’s difficult for me to stroll with a plaster that almost covers my left ear. By the way, this thing runs in the family. I have two cousins who got the same issue and one of them according to my mom is already deaf. Geez! One thing I’m certain of, salt water triggers the infection.  I remember we just had our team building ugh! It’s just frustrating because it’s painful and annoying at the same time. Seriously I need help.